The other night I was driving home with a good friend who is currently trying to put together her faith statement for her confirmation service (ironically on April 1) I guess I’d asked enough questions when she turned to me and asked “so, what do you believe?”
My answer was fairly spontaneous and after I got home I tried to write it down as it’s possibly the clearest I’ve been about what I do believe (as apart from what I don’t which I can talk about at length) for quite some time.
As I wrote it down I was playing Goyte’s song “Heart’s a Mess”
Somehow they seemed to go well together…
I believe in a God who’s being is relationship, who’s very being, very existence is reliant on and embedded in relationship. That this need to be in communion saw God create everything around us to be in relationship with God, with each other.
That God, being in relationship with us groans, cries, is pained and hurts with those who are, for any reason hurting, crying, pained, that God is, in particular in a special relationship with those who our western society seems to forget, the child soldier in Sudan, the starving in the Philippines, those with aids in Africa.
That God, in God’s groaning and pain came to earth to become one of us, to physically cry real tears, groan in real pain, hold the hands of those who are suffering, laugh real belly laughs, look into the eyes of people who God loves.
That God lived a life that would be an example of how to really be in relationship with the world around us, with those who are suffering, with the child, with the grieving, with those that society has left aside, and, that while we continually fuck this up and fail to be in real relationship with one another, with the creation that God continually hopes, hopes that we will continue to try, continue to aim at the example that God has set for us.
I believe that God eventually died a real death at the hands of those who God loves so much, to experience the death of those who suffered the most, to shed real blood, cry real tears, be taunted by real whips, real nails, to show us just how far love can go.
I believe that God is always reaching out for us, holding us, sitting with us, continually in the hope that we will reach back to God, that we’ll reach out to others that God loves and be so inspired by our relationships that we will join in and feel the same groans, tears, cramps, laughter and love that God feels for us.
That God is desperate to connect…
Even more than I am…
The pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine
You have lost
Too much love
To fear, doubt and distrust
(It’s not enough)
You just threw away the key
To your heart
You don’t get burned
(’Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see…
Love ain’t fair
So there you are
Your heart’s a mess
You won’t admit to it
It makes no sense
But I’m desperate to connect
And you, you can’t live like this
Love ain’t safe
You won’t get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don’t wanna waste my love