I look for you
It’s in the things I do and say
If I wanna live I gotta
Die to myself someday
The city’s about 3.5 hours away, and even then if I’m wanting to be real about that it’s only Canberra, Sydney and Melbourne however are a good 4.5/5 hours away and home, well Adelaide’s about 10 hours away. I don’t mind being rural, in a way I’ve been living rural for a lot of my life, having many of my best memories in places like Gawler, Balaklava, Moonta, Pt Hughes, Ardrossan…
I like the space that a town like Wagga gives me, walking up the road is so easy, parks all over the place and the possibility of a good day’s drive is always there with nothing but country roads and towns for kms around. And I’ve not even mentioned the abundance of country bakeries, there’s nothing quite like fresh baked pie or a vanilla slice from a country bakery.
But there are times that I miss the anonymity that one has when walking around a city like Melbourne, it’s easy to spend a day alone and wander around noone knowing your name, and, with a camera on hand there’s any numbers of new worlds to explore, street art to explore, art galleries are aplenty when people take their art to the street…
Looking for God in the urban, or in the rural is pretty much the same thing, somedays it’s harder than others while sometimes God’s image shines brighter than the sun, you just can’t miss it in the people you meet, the art you see, the park you walk through, the road you’re walking on, the buskers you stop to listen to.
And I guess somedays God’s in the songs you sing while you walk around…
Anyhow, this rant with no purpose whatever was to add the song Surrender by U2 to the Hymnal, inspired by the piece written by Kelley Eskridge on atu2.com on the song by U2. She writes…
Music has always fueled my inner life, like a soundtrack to movies in my head where I imagine what I want to do or be. War was my soundtrack of the city. The first half of the album was for daytime: songs of certainty and purpose whose martial rhythms and pulsing melody lines reminded me to square my shoulders and step out strong, be brave, get things done. But halfway through, the album changed into songs of relationship and longing that expressed perfectly for me the passion and potential and ambivalence of living in the city. Those were the songs I came back to. I came back to “Surrender.”
For me, “Surrender” was how it felt to be in the city at night — smooth and sensuous and a little mysterious, a little dreamy. What I heard in the song was the heartbeat of the city. And I wanted to stand in that heartbeat. I wanted a city on fire for me. I wanted one of those lives I imagined when I stood in a crowded train rolling past neighborhoods where people lived in brownstones: where I would live, sitting in the summer sun on a small deck with a cup of tea to learn lines. I would go from one challenging acting role to another. I’d go to shows, to clubs, to restaurants with friends or lovers who would find me as interesting, as accomplished, as fascinating, as passionately engaged as they were. And then come home to my beautiful apartment that framed the city skyline in its windows, so the city itself would be part of the times alone or the times with friends as music and conversation wafted up into the soft night sky.
It was a powerful dream, this City Life of mine.
Surrender
by U2
Album: WAR
Oh, the city’s alight
With lovers and lies
Bright blue eyes
Oh, the city is bright
It’s brighter than day tonight
Surrender, Surrender
Surrender, Surrender
Sadie said she couldn’t work out
What it was all about
And so she let go
Now Sadie’s on the street
And the people she meets you know
She tried to be a good girl and a good wife
Raise a good family
Lead a good life
It’s not good enough
She got herself up on the 48th floor
Gotta find out
Find out what she’s living for
Surrender, Surrender
Surrender, Surrender
Tonight…
Oh, the city’s afire
A passionate flame
It knows me by name
Oh, the city’s desire
To take me for more and more
It’s in the street, getting under my feet
It’s in the air, it’s everywhere
I look for you
It’s in the things I do and say
If I wanna live I gotta
Die to myself someday
Papa sing my sing my sing my song